Love One Another
1 John 3:11-18 (NIV) 11 For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. 16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
“We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death” (1 John 3:14).
According to this portion of Scripture, the evidence that we’re children of God is our love for other believers. If love is lacking in our lives, we “remain in death.” And we really aren’t behaving like the sons and daughters of God, no matter what experience we claim in the past. Point Blank!- If we don’t love, we are dead. Life and Love are synonymous. When you have one, the other is right there. And this is the evidence that we have passed from death unto life.
How do I know that I have passed from death unto life? “Well,(you might say) there was that time I got down on my knees … or said a prayer… or that experience I had on that mountain top, or when I was listening to that Christian radio station and I was praying in my car,.. or when the televangelist said if I said that prayer,…etc” but no, according to God’s word, here in 1John was see that’s not good enough.
Many would say, “ I thought that was all there was to this.” Our resolve is not based on a single experience, but rather entire a life of Love.
I know I’m a child of God because I love others. That’s not some theological or philosophical statement. I actually do love others, and that is evidence of God’s Spirit living in me. Therefore, I know I that am a child of God, because my daily experience verifies it.
Today, those of us in the church of Jesus Christ need to make a bold commitment to love people and then dedicate ourselves to fulfilling that commitment.
Our whole lifestyle should tell people, “If you come around here, we’re going to love you. No matter who you are, what you’ve done or how you look, smell or behave, we’re going to love you.”
The word for love here is agape. Agape love first exists, and then it affects the emotions. “For God so loved the world that He sat in heaven and had warm feelings?” No, that’s nonsense. “For God so loved the world that He gave” (John 3:16). That’s it! Agape is a volitional commitment to another that motivates us to act on his or her behalf. Every time we find a corresponding action to the concept of agape, it is a giving action. There is no doubt that strong and appropriate emotions often actualize loving behavior.
In Scripture, we read that Jesus was moved with compassion (see Matt. 9:36; 14:14; 20:34). But we must never confuse a shallow sensation that may inspire an impulsive response as love. Compassion, understanding, identification, gratitude, empathy, gentleness and appreciation are some of the heartfelt experiences that may accompany our loving behavior. Furthermore, agape involves the kind of giving that cannot be compensated.
This sort of concept of love is quite foreign to our culture. The mentality of this world leads us to love and give only when there is reason to assume that our love will be reciprocated. This reciprocity is tested carefully during a “getting acquainted” time. If things look promising, and if our approach is met with acceptance and response, we risk a bit further, and a friendship is established. We first get acquainted and then move into love … sometimes. As a result, most people have many acquaintances and a few friends, but they are dying from lack of love. In the kingdom of God, we first love and then move into acquaintance.
Love is a commitment and operates independently of what we feel or do not feel. To be a church as a force, that we need to extend this love to everyone:
“I want you to know that I’m committed to you. You’ll never knowingly suffer at my hands. I’ll never say or do anything, knowingly, to hurt you. I’ll always in every circumstance seek to help you and support you. If you’re down and I can lift you up, I’ll do that. Anything I have that you need, I’ll share with you; and if need be, I’ll give it to you. No matter what I find out about you and no matter what happens in the future, either good or bad, my commitment to you will never change. And there’s nothing you can do about it. You don’t have to respond. I love you, and that’s what it means.”
When we can make that commitment to every person, our church community will begin to be one that’s learning to love and be a force for God. When we are outward with our love… Restoration flows. The outworking of Restoration shows up in home, work, and with friends. This powerful force LOVE makes people want to serve Jesus. It moves them from a place of rejection to a place of acceptance. People desperately need someone to love them, and most have nowhere to turn.
So, love is a Force that accepts people where they are at.
But also Love Is Not License. Our love for others must never be confused as a license for their destructive behavior toward us, toward others or toward themselves. Love commits itself to their “highest good” and stands stubbornly and relentlessly against anyone’s destructive attitude or behavior. Whether it is an intervention into an addiction or refusing to enable abusive or rebellious behavior in a child or friend,
love always steps in the way of destructive behavior. Not to do so is an act of hatred, not love.
The importance of love, acceptance and forgiveness: Love, acceptance, forgiveness-those three things are absolutely essential to consistently bring people to maturity and wholeness. If the church-the living presence of Christ in His people-is to be the force for God in the world that it should be, it must learn to love people, accept them and forgive them. I think we all understand why these qualities are absolutely essential. Unless love, acceptance and forgiveness are guaranteed, people will not risk the honesty and openness required for true wholeness. These three establish a certain degree of safety.
Agape love is a volitional commitment – an action of the will- This is the kind of love we make to another that motivates us to act on the behalf of others.
This kind of love is about COMMITMENT. This is a concept that both inside and outside the church, people understand and desire. They all know that with the word commitment, comes security. Security is about trust.
Can you imagine the people in your life, who don’t know this about Jesus’ LOVE?
What a difference knowing this will make in their lives?
Name some of them.
When you and I put this into action and make it a priority- LOVE – then those around you will view you differently.
They aren’t always able to put their finger on it, but they there is something different, special, enlightening about being around a person who practices the virtue of unconditional LOVE ACCAPTANCE and FORGIVENESS.
Are you aware of anyone who views you this way in his or her life?
What kind of problems and challenges does this type of commitment raise?
What are your feelings and thoughts when you think of an environment in which this attitude prevails?
This definition I gave earlier of AGAPE love is “choosing to act for another person’s highest good.”
Would the other person’s “highest good” necessarily be what he or she would describe as “loving”?
If they don’t have a HIGHER GOOD,.. they will be attracted to yours.
Actually, what they are attracted to is Jesus,.. living in you… Dwelling in you.
There is a connection between knowing God has accepted you and your ability to accept someone else.
Remember, that a definition of acceptance is “releasing another from the need to qualify or perform for another’s love and attention.”
They are accepted, not because of what they do or don’t do. Performance is not the basis of ACCEPTANCE for any relationship we have. They don’t have to do, or BE anything.
I share last week that
Author, Catherine Marshall suggests that forgiveness is releasing another person from our own personal judgment.
A working definition of forgiveness is “choosing not to punish a person for something that he or she did to you.”
What are some specific ways you tend to punish people for hurting, mistreating or disappointing you?
“Love is not license; acceptance is not agreement; forgiveness is not compromise.”
Be as specific as possible, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you see these individual people through Jesus’ eyes.
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